yeah Tsuki and I played bingo at our school's expo....the GSA did the Car Bash...people demolished doors XD...but yeah we were joking at first about playing bingo....then we started.....we got addicted...OO....Tsuki won four times in a row...the third time i won with her....a smidgen later Tsuki won another.....then i won a second time...then the last game we played Tsuki won....we got five bucks for each win....i got ten bucks...Tsuki 30...but spent 5 for a game XD...we were very happy(especially me since i never win at bingo) despite the fact that it was cold and slightly rainy outside ><.....watch us get sick in like a week XD happy rp time oh yeah baby....and for those who saw my last journal the person and i are doing much better we talked and she was very understanding so we're all good ^^ yay...and also Tsuki kicked my ass at this jousting like thing....we got a video...i might put it up somewhere XD...but yeah...currently watching Tsuki play Guitar Hero II at my house while rping with her XD bai baiz~

EDIT XD oh god Kyle and I are having so much fun with prickly things on wikipedia....he tried a vitamin water that was dragonfruit flavor.....THIS...is a dragon fruit.... [link] XD it's a Pitaya...like a Papaya...a badass PAPAYA XD....it should be the new gay symbol since it's pink and spiky...XD

Have you Ever…(and no...it's not the sex/kinky version XD)

[X] Try to commit suicide (multiple times over the course of six months at 12)
[ ] Take more pills then asked
[X] Hurt yourself for someone (...it's a difficult topic)
[X] Be kissed forcefully (*shudders* it's why i'm glad i like women as well)
[X] Been Harassed (eh...bugged on a bad day)
[X] Been kissed (^^)
[X] Hugged (i hug as much as possible)
[ ] Been in a relationship more than a year (...never been i one)
[X] Loved someone other than your boy/girlfriend (again.,..difficult topic...though i never had a boy/girlfriend)
[X] Needed to be with someone (hard topic...again)
[X] Loved the same gender (happy to be bi)
[X] Kissed someone of the same gender (it was a fun day that day)
[ ] Been in love at first sight (haven't really been in love so not yet)
[X] Wanted to be in love (hard subject to discuss)
[X] Wanted to be loved (VERY hard subject to discuss)
[X] Love someone you don’t know (i do believe jrockers count here XD)
[ ] Had Sex (third base but no cigar heheheh XD... )
[X] Wanted to have sex (....if they're asian XD)
[ ] Smoked (most likely will later in life though)
[X] Lose someone close (tough subject)
[ ] Turn a friendship into a relationship (...wanted to...don't ask)
[X] Had the same gender like you (^^)
[ ] Hated someone (not hate hate)
[ ] Shunned someone
[X] Really, really dislike someone (oh yeah baby)
[ ] Had a bad breakup (never been in a relatioship)
[ ] Wanted to breakup but couldn’t (same as the one above)
[ ] Had a love move away (again...same as above)
[X] Been Cheated on (.......it's complicated.....)
[ ] Cheated on someone (never had sex XD)
[X] Been hit on (ick ><
[X] Hit on someone (^^ fun fun party party)
[ ] Had something precious taken away (not that i know of)
[X] Had someone precious taken away (tough subject)
[ ] Had a dream you can never forget (can't remember my dreams)
[ ] Had a dream you wanted to forget (can't remember my dreams)
[ ] Drawn something beautiful but lose it (most likely when my old comp died...*wants to get it fixed soon*)
[X] Hated something you drew (oh yeah)
[X] Burned something (candles...sticks.... )
[ ] Burned yourself
[ ] Been stabbed
[X] Been heart broken (DON'T. ASK. simple as that)
[ ] Had your heart put together again (.......it's gonna take someone with a lot of superglue to do that ><; )
[X] Looked at the mirror and hated what you see (.......><
[ ] Never loved someone
[X] Lose a pet (three out of four in my lifetime died, one of heart attack (first encouter of death), one of old age, and we had to put one down because she had bad hips)
[ ] Had a friend hate you (always fear they do though)
[X] Suffer from depression (big time...i think i could be in a rut right now...or i'm most likely gonna get my period soon ><;;;;;;;;;;; )
[ ] Make yourself vomit (hate vomiting so nopers)
[X] Never talked to someone for years (lot of people)
[ ] Had your art stolen
[ ] Stole art (yeah..i so stole the Mona Lisa XD hahaha *sarcastic....nicitiy...<< >> )
[ ] Believe a rumor (....i have no idea)
[ ] Started a Rumor (i hope not OO)
[ ] Heard a rumor about you (....don't think so)
[X] Ever had a past life (i believe i have had a few past lives)
[ ] heard of your past life ( i would like to though)
[ ] Wanted a past life (i believe i had one ^^)
[X] Seen one of your friends of the same gender naked (close enough XD)
[X] Of the opposite gender naked (ICK! ICK ICK ICK! ><;;;;;;; WHAT WAS I THINKING?!?!??!?!?)
[X] Kissed your friend (yep)
[X] Have a friend kiss you (yep)
[X] Wanted to kiss somebody (yep)
[X] Posted this in your journal (DING)
[ ] Seen me as a friend

(btw....they need to make a PMS emoticon/mood.....oh well..emotional works )

EDIT: ok you know what i really need to get this off my chest because ever since i told a friend about something it's been eating away at me and it really hit me today and the whole day i've been really emotional despite being PMSing.....the person might know...but....we'd wind up talking about this anyway....here it goes let's hope i don't have an emotional breakdown at school ><

ok when i first met this person(a girl btw) they were really sweet and flirty to the lines of 'we should so be together let's do it yeah let's have hot kinky sex' and i was playing along and....to be honest...i really fucking wanted it...but i didn't want to risk hurting her because i was still trying to figure out if i really was bisexual and liked girls as much as i liked guys....by the time i did....she was already with someone...and i knew i cared aout her because it fucking hrut like hell and i was jealous....i tried to have the same amount of affection...but she slowly kinda detached from me....didn't want me touching her as much...we never did anything more than playful touching (not sexual at all, don't be pervs right now XD), hugging, and we did kiss twice but they were little pecks...but she slowly got to where she wouldn't want me doing any of that....and yet i saw her hugging her girlfriend, kissing her....then they broke up...she got an online boyfriend....then girlfriend...i can't even remember how many till the one who she actually met in person...some of you might know of this....that girl dumped her for a bullshit reason...now she has another girlfriend who is sweet and i like her...she's pretty and funny and very caring...i would like for it to work out...but i still can't seem to let go....it fucking hurts to see her smiling when talking about her and saying they love each other...it just hurts that she's so happy...and i have no one and have never had anyone....i just feel alone....and i wish i had a person to talk to and hold me when i'm sad...but...i don't have anyone to do that....it just hurts because ever since i met her, the peopleshe's een with i felt like 'why do they deserve to be with her? am i really that hideous? am i truely that ugly?'...i just feel like i loved her first after those people...i just really need advice right now on what the hell i should do...(i'm gonna get an uber talk from this person inmy future i can feel it ><...but i need to do this for my own fucking sanity)

EDIT EDIT EDIT EDIT EDIT EDIT EDIT EDIT EDIT (ok this it annoying )
i'm feeling a little better today guess some of the emoness got poured out on here, though i would appreciate anymore advice you may have and i'm very thankful for the advice and hugs i've gotten ^^

you know the drill...do it...post it...put it up and make me happy so i can see if i know you ^^ have fun~


My name:
Summarize me in one sentence:
Where did we meet?
Take a stab at my middle name:
How long have you known me?
When is the last time that we saw each other?
Do I drink?
Do I smoke?
Do I do Drugs?
Am I happy?
Am I a good person?
What was your first impression of upon meeting me/seeing me?
What's one of my favorite things to do?
Who do i love more than my life?
Am I funny?
Have you ever made me smile?
What's my favorite type of music?
Have you ever seen me cry?
Can I sing?
What is the best feature about me?
Am I shy or outgoing?
Am I a rebel or do I follow the rules?
Do I have any special talents?
Would you call me preppy, average, sporty, punk, hippie, glam, nerdy, snobby, or something else (what)?
Have you ever hugged me?
Kissed me?
What is my favorite food?
Am I a good cook?
Am I dating anyone?
If there was one good nickname for me, what would it be?
What's your favorite memory of me?
What is my worst habit?
Do I like corn dogs?
Have you ever had a dream about me?
If you and I were stranded on a desert island, what is the one thing I would bring?
Are we friends?
Whats my religion?
Am I family oriented?
Will you repost this so I can take yours?

1. Put Your iTunes, Windows Media Player, ETC on Shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS.
4. Put any comments in brackets after the song name.
(WOOT be prepared for lots of hide, X Japan, and Emilie Autumn...since that's all i have on mah ipod for now )

1.) If someone says, "Is this okay?" You say:
Doubt by hide (WAHOOOOO and tis be the original version with the girls of L7 XD and wow)

2.) How would you describe yourself?
Eyes Love You by hide (WAHOOOOO IT'S THE PV WHERE HIDE COSPLAYS AS PATA OF X JAPAN! XD and that is kinda true)

3.) What do you like in a guy/girl?
Endless Rain by X Japan (wow.......pretty deep....endless rain~ fall on my heart...kokoro no kizuni....let me forget....all of the hate....all of the sadness....hmmm....i guess i like em sad and emotional...gotta love late 80's early 90's rock power ballads composed by Yoshiki XD)

4.) How do you feel today?
306 by Emilie Autumn (.....i feel like a killer...who murdered 306 people in six years....16 in one day....as told by one of the dead victims....wow...go Emilie Autumn)

5.) What is your life's purpose?
Thank God I'm Pretty by Emilie Autumn (....my life's purpose is to be a pretty whore who no one likes except for fucking?....wow....damn.....fuck.....that kinda sucks....)

6.) What is your motto?
Mushi by Dir en Grey (..........my motto is the Japanese word for insect....WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW)

7.) What do your friends think of you?
Flame by hide (......my friends think i'm a flame of sadness XD)

8.) What do you think of your parents?
Pink Spider by hide (O_O.......i think my parents are pink spiders who want to fly like butterflys......and jump off a building......ok the jumping off a building for my mom yes....but i like my dad.....O_O...weird...)

9.) What do you think about very often?
The Last Song by X Japan (.........i think about a sad power ballad about a lost lover....wow....i thought it was sex...; )

10.) What is 2 + 2?
Dominant by Emilie Autumn (WHOOHOOOO THANK YOU EMILIE AUTUMN FOR MAKING THIS INSTRUMENTAL XD hhahahahah 2+2=dominant...aka FOURSOME XD)

11.) What do you think of your best friend?
Saihate no Parade (.....O_O...uhhhhh....Tsuki?......i think that of her.....wow.......ok then....moving on )

12.) What do you think of the person you like?
Weekend by X Japan (XD YUSSSS....wait...that PV included Pata drinking imself to death, Taiji getting shot, Yoshiki killing himself by slitting his wrist, hide trashed the room and went boom on the ground...and.....Toshi sang...in front of a white wall...with blood being thrown on it...O_O)

13.) What is your life story?
Silent Jealousy by X Japan (...that oddly fits my life right now....for the most part <_< >_>

14.) What do you want to be when you grow up?
Voiceless Screaming by X Japan (YAY I WANNA BE A VOICELESS SCREAM WAHOOOO)

15.) What do you think of when you see the person you like?
Organ Grinder by Emilie Autumn (...........wow.....apparently i want to grind up some organs for them.... )

16.) What will you dance to at your wedding?
Forever Love by X Japan (.....O_O...wow....the same song they sang at hide's funeral....wow...gonna be an emotional wedding...though the song is good for a wedding though...sad though O_O)

17.) What will they play at your funeral?
Mushi by Dir en Grey (...wait this popped up again? ....damn....this one sad ass funeral then...XD)

18.) What is your hobby/interest?
Standing Sex by X Japan (XD HAHAHAAHHA YUSSSSS THANK YOU X JAPAN)

19.) What is your biggest fear?
Misery by hide (...i'm afraid to be miserable?....huh...wow....ok then that kinda true XD)

20.) What is your biggest secret?
Drink or Die D.O.D. by hide (...hhahaah I'M A SECRET DRINKER WAHOOOOOOOOOOO)

21.) What do you think of your friends?
Dominant by Emilie Autumn (......wow...again?,....huh.....i guess i think they're dominant...eheheheheh it won't be for Kyle when he gets sexxors XD)

22.) What will you post this as?
Pink Spider by hide (XD...AHAHAH SWEEEEEEEEEEEET)

today is Hideto "hide" Matsumoto's birthday. he would have been 43 this year, play his music, watch his videos, and think about him today to keep his memory alive in our hearts. *huggles hide cd*

...who wants to bet that hide is rocking out in heaven (or hell, depending on if he's going to some kick ass party...hell gots the parties XD) today?

....i am always gonna cry or feel sad on this day and the day he passed away